How to go down on a girl *really* well: eating out oral sex tips
Want to know how to eat a girl out, or go down on someone out who has a vagina? Here’s a step by step expert guide to eating pussy
A no-nonsense guide to mind-blowing cunnilingus
By Paige Vahla and Lois ShearingUpdated: 25 June 2025 Make your way down their body slowly. To amp up the tension, mark this path with small kisses beginning from their neck and proceeding down to their pelvic region. “Build arousal by using your tongue and mouth to stimulate their whole body without going near their vulva, giving them a taste of what’s to come,” says Uren.
Eye contact is fine. It’s an intense move, and depending on who you’re going down on, it could be very creepy or it could be very hot. You feel it out and consider the context of the hook-up — is it someone you’ve just met (maybe pass!) or is it a longer-term relationship (see how it goes!)?
Before you take the plunge, experiment with some sensual kissing up and down their inner thighs. Not totally necessary, but I’m just saying they probably wouldn’t not be into that — a little teasing like this can increase the anticipation.
miniseries//Getty Images
The art of anticipation
Speaking of anticipation, Scotty says that the entire vulva is a sexual playground that should be explored.
“When going down on a person with a vulva, it can typically take them longer to become properly aroused, so it’s okay to take your time with teasing. Touch, kiss, lick, suck and teases their entire vulva, avoiding touching the clitoris,” she says.
According to Scotty, this works on two levels: visually, you are there where they need you to be, but you’re also not at the same time. Physically, the sensation of being stimulated around their most sensitive part will cause pressure to build, making their clitoris more sensitive and receptive to contact. So, when you finally venture there, the reward of that sensation is even better.
Find the clitoris
Once you’ve built up some tension, move on to the genital area. “When they are fully aroused, you can gently move into clitoral stimulation by tracing your tongue around the outside of their clitoris,” says Uren. In case you’re unsure of what that is, it feels a lot like a bean and can be found on top of the labia (the fleshy ‘lips’ of the vagina). There’s no shame in asking for directions: if you can’t find the clit, ask them to guide you.
Before you really get started, you need to keep in mind that the clitoris is super sensitive and has more nerve endings than the penis. It’s incredible — and it’s the source of orgasms for most people with vulvas.
So, familiarise yourself with the clitoris. Start things off right by DJing (using your fingers to rub the clitoris) then introducing your mouth and tongue — this is a great opportunity to tease your partner, if they’re into that.
“Use the flat of your tongue for more broad stimulation over the clitoris and labia rather than just using the tip, as this can feel a little pointy,” suggests Uren. “If your partner isn’t too sensitive and wants more intense clitoral stimulation, you can use one hand to lightly lift the area above the labia up to release the clitoris from the clitoral hood.”
pcess609//Getty Images
Stimulate their whole vulva
While the external part of the clitoris is the most sensitive, the majority of the organ (and it is an organ) is actually hidden inside the labia and around the vagina. Stimulating other parts of the clitoris can lead to a more satisfying experience and intense orgasm.
So, while you focus most of your attention on the (external) clit, don’t be afraid to mix it up and lick, kiss, suck other parts of their vulva and labia.
“For more intense sensations, you can use your whole mouth to stimulate their vulva — a little similar to motorboating but slower, more sensual, and definitely no sound effects,” suggests Uren.
When it comes to the clit, lick it up, down, and all around, but remain focused on and aware of the pressure of your tongue. Start off lightly and gradually increase the pressure and speed if their body responses and noises point to yes. You can also play with the shape of your tongue on the clitoris in order to mix it up. Some people like a broad, flat tongue, others like a more pointy tip. It really is a matter of personal preference and exploring what your partner prefers by listening to how their body reacts.
You can also try the Kivin method. It claims to get women and people with vulvas to orgasm in a matter of minutes… Whether you believe that or not, it’s still fun to try! It’s actually really simple: instead of coming at oral sex from in between your partner’s legs, approach it from the side and lick up and down.
Related Stories- 
These are the 24 best sex toys for couples
-
What are the best condoms? A sex writer weighs in -
These are the 24 best sex toys for couples
-
What are the best condoms? A sex writer weighs in
Ask if they like it
Seriously, ask if they like it. Not only does this add a good intro to dirty talk, but also, not all vulvas are the same — far from it. Vulvas come in all shapes, sizes, colours, and sensitivities, so you’re going to run into many different preferences depending on your partner at the time.
More pressure or a certain tonguing may be better for one person versus another. They may prefer it slow, hard, in circles, or up and down. If you’re already passing this with flying colours, asking how they like it is 100% a turn on anyway and opens the door to more honest sexual communication.
Plus, don’t be afraid to show them how much you like it. “Be enthusiastic and let your partner know you are enjoying yourself to help them relax into it,” suggests Uren.
Try using accessories
Using a sex toy while going down on someone can ramp up the experience even further. If they’re okay with it (you need to ask beforehand), you could use a bullet, wand vibrator, or clit vibrator on their clitoris while fingering them or focusing on other parts of their vulva.
Some people really enjoy internal stimulation during oral, so you could try using a dildo or vibrator alongside sucking or licking their clitoris. Pro tip: “Try stroking the front wall of their vagina rather than going for hard thrusting,” says Uren.
“Use a sex positioning pillow or a regular cushion to prop their hips up, as it opens the whole genital area and will save your neck! This position is also great if you want to explore rimming,” suggests Uren.
Oh, and we can’t say this enough: try out a touch of flavoured lube to make the experience all the more exciting for you…
Related Stories- 
Here’s the lowdow on CBD lube, if you’re curious
-
200 questions to get to know someone better -
Here’s the lowdow on CBD lube, if you’re curious
-
200 questions to get to know someone better
Get other areas involved
The same way some people with penises like to have their balls played with during a blow job, you might want to stimulate other parts of your partner’s vulva or body while you’re eating them out.
Run your fingers down their thighs, grab their hips, or reach for their breasts/chest and massage those too if that’s what they’re into. There are plenty of options.
Use your fingers if they have given enthusiastic consent. Slowly insert a finger into their vagina and wait for their response to see if it feels OK (or ask!). Move it in and out slowly to start with, curling your finger up towards their stomach to hit the G-spot. Massage it gently, and if they like it and agree, you can go harder and faster.
All the while remember to *never* neglect the clitoris.
filadendron//Getty Images
Switch it up
Keep switching it up (unless they’re clearly really enjoying it and don’t want you to stop). The clitoris is very sensitive and if you play with it too hard for too long, it might be too stimulating and cause discomfort or pain. Experiment with pressure and dot some light kisses on that clitoris.
But remember: “If your partner tells you they are close to orgasm, it’s important to keep going with the same pressure and rhythm,” advises Uren.
Try the Kivin method
The Kivin method, previously touched on above, is an oral sex technique often touted as a cunnilingus ‘trick’ that apparently helps people with vulvas reach orgasm in just three minutes.
We know, it sounds dubious as hell — and it’s not really a good idea to start timing your partner’s orgasms or implementing any ‘one size fits all’ rules when it comes to sex. Everyone is really different, so there’s no way the Kivin method can work for everyone. But, as long as you know that, you can just have fun trying it.
So how does the Kivin method work? Basically, you come at it from the side. Yep, instead of positioning yourself between your partner’s legs, get beside them. Raise their clit and steady it by popping your index finger and thumb on either side of it. Then, instead of licking up and down, go from side to side across the clit or clitoral hood (depending on how sensitive they are and what they like — keep asking what works for them).
Maria Korneeva//Getty Images
Face sitting
This position puts your partner on top and gives them more of the control, explains Scotty. “It requires a bit more communication, including verbal and nonverbal, as, depending on how into it you get, there could be some smothering happening if they are planted firmly over your airways.”
Your partner can either sit facing you or facing away, and they can either sit fully on you or hover over your face. This will be something for you both to discuss beforehand.
“This position gives you unbridled access to the entire vulva and means that they can ride your face to contribute to the stimulation,” Scotty adds.
*If* they orgasm
If they orgasm (because not everyone will, and that’s OK!), be sure to keep doing what you’re doing when they’re getting close. You can tell they’re about to come because they’ll either tell you explicitly or you’ll be able to guess from their body signals: their breathing might quicken and they might grab your hair. But whatever you do, don’t stop what you’re doing until they’ve ridden that wave.
Don’t be disheartened if they don’t orgasm — it’s not the end goal of sex and doesn’t determine whether someone felt pleasure or enjoyed a sexual experience.
“Some people also enjoy pressure or gentle stimulation during or after their climax while others are too sensitive. Try to be attentive to your partner’s body language — do they move into you or away from you?” add Uren.
“Don’t put any pressure or expectation on your partner to have an orgasm, as this can create performance anxiety for both of you. Plus, oral sex can be very pleasurable, even without having an orgasm. Instead, focus on pleasure and connection.”
Related Stories- 
11 LGBTQ+ people recommend their fave sex toys
-
How to do the full nelson sex position -
11 LGBTQ+ people recommend their fave sex toys
-
How to do the full nelson sex position
Paige VahlaFormer Sex & Relationships Editor Paige Vahla (She/Her) is Cosmopolitan UK’s former Sex & Relationships Editor covering all things sex, relationships, friends and family, and LGBTQ+. Think of her as your sex-positive best friend who offers expert insight and first-person perspectives when it comes to exploring the realm of love and sex. Whether you’re updating your sex toy stash, getting over a friendship break-up or need answers to your burning relationship questions - she’s got you covered. You can also follow her on Twitter.
Lois ShearingFormer Senior Sex and Relationship WriterLois Shearing is Cosmoplitan’s Former Senior Sex and Relationship Writer. They have been writing about sex, sexuality, gender, politics, and relationships for almost ten years. Their writing on these topics has appeared in Mashable, The Independent, Metro, The Advocate, and Byline Times, among others. In 2021, they published their first book, Bi the Way with JKP. They are currently working on two other books, set to be published in 2024. In a previous life, they worked as a content marketer and content writer for various tech start-ups. They continue to be interested in the tech sector and its impact on our lives, relationships, and work, with particular regard to the ways AI will shape our relationships in the future. Outside of work, they are deeply passionate about queer community organising, and run the only support resource for bisexual survivors of sexual violence in the UK: the Bi Survivors Network. You can find them on Instagram and X.
Sex88888.com offers high-quality adult products, specializing in innovative sucking vibrators, including clit sucking vibrators designed for intense pleasure. Discover our range of toys tailored to enhance your intimate moments with ultimate satisfaction
This site only collects related articles. Viewing the original, please copy and open the following link:How to go down on a girl *really* well: eating out oral sex tips
